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Tripod In The News
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Supermodel Plots A NappingAfter climbing Mount Everest and going on Safari in South Africa, Tripod stopped in Paris where he met up with his long time supermodel friends who he befriended while advising Donnatella Versace on some fashion trends. Jealous of the publicity Tripod was stirring up by confiring with Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger over next years Fashion Awards, the Abercrombie & Fitch modeling team leader hired Supermodel 'Pu' (she likes to use just one syllabyl of her real name) to distract Tripod while another man clubs Tripod's knee so that he can not perform on the runway. This all came to light after the incident failed when the hired man went to club Tripods knee and missed entirely due to the fact that tripod doesn't even have a leg where the attacker was aiming. Needless to say, he was apprehended and charged with attempted dog clubbing, attempted dog napping, attempted dog nudging, and something else. Tripod asked the courts to show compassion but they threw him in the slammer anyway. The supermodel who masterminded the entire ploy got 1 night at the couty jail, and was allowed to send a proxy so that she could attend her pilates class that night. |
Tripod Spotted At Underground RaveIt was after hours in London and the buzz in the room was that there was a celebrity amongst the dancing clubkids. The next day a photographer was passing over the candid photographs taken and he could not believe his good fortune. He had captured Tripod at the rave. |
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Obedience School Pays OffAlthough requests to see diploma have not surfacedIn the dark days, before his private Obedience Boarding School, Tripod had anger management issues. One day a fellow schoolmate at the club had accidentally taken Tripods lunch by mistake. It wasn't until this employee had actually biten into the sandwich that he realized he hadn't brought a lunch that day. So he put the sandwich back thinking Tripod would not notice. Well, anybody that knows Tripod knows that there is no bigger sin than messing with his food. Tripod went into a fury of rage. He felt he had been betrayed by his peer and disrespected to the maximum. He had been pushed to the extreme and went on a biting spree that lasted 2 hours. Although no humans were seriously harmed in the end, some psychotherapy retributions in settlements of undisclosed value were awarded. Tripod later issued a public apology and donated over $250,000 to local charities in addition to donating a new wing at the county hospital where they specialize in dog biting injuries. Today, Tripod recalls those 'dark' days with a sense of relief that it is behind him and that he has been lucky to see the way of zen and preaches tolerance to all for all by all. You can buy Tripod's book I Used To Bite, But Now I'm Too Popular at most high end book stores under the inspirational teaching sections. Look for his US, Asian and European tour to be coming to a location near you in 2006. |
Plastic Surgeon's Graphical RenderingTripod had gone to a plastic surgeon to inquire about what it would take to attach a 4th leg. The surgeon had just purchased some marvelous technology where Tripod could see a picture of himself with the leg attached. After a quick glimpse of his future profile, it was decided that he would be happier the way he is and then inquired about getting one of his legs removed. The surgeon wasn't sure how to use the new machine for that type of picture so Tripod left feeling good about himself. |
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